Eeeek! Frightening!

Apparently, I didn't just dress like an old lady sourpuss for Halloween. According to BFG, I am one! More frightening than this picture of me is a conversation I had with BFG the other day. We were leaving my parents' house and I was complaining about something as usual and said to my mom, "Oh, I'm just ill. I'm ill all the time." (Ill is our word for grumpy.)
BFG chimed in, "Yeah, she is. She is ill all the time."

At first I laughed, but by the time we got loaded in the car I was upset and thinking, Surely she didn't mean that. I mean, come on, ALL the time. So, I decided to ask her.
Me: Mommy's not ill all the time, am I?
BFG: Yeah . . . Well, almost all the time.
Me: So, you think I'm ill every day?
BFG: Almost every day.
Me: thinking Oh, probably all kids think their parents are ill all the time.
Me: So, is Daddy ill all the time?
BFG: NO! He's not ill very much at all.


Crap, crap, crap! This is how I'm raising my child. This is the childhood she'll remember. Her mom being ill all the time. Great. All the fun things I do with her do not override the day-to-day attitude I have.

It's not like I didn't know it though. And, unfortunately, I know it because of the way she acts. Her ill tone, her short temper, her being so easily frustrated. It's all because of me. I look at that little thing and I'm looking into a mirror. Worse than a mirror. It shows me my heart because according to the Bible what is in the heart spews out from the mouth.

Oh, how I long to be one of those gracious, patient, soft-spoken mothers with a meek and gentle spirit. I battle my flesh on this every day and I know God's brought me farther than I was. I just pray that I get there before BFG grows up to be just like me.

What about you? What are you inadvertently passing down to your children that you really wish you weren't?

Mama Said

Unexcused Absence

I don't know what my problem has been this summer. I have had very little desire to blog.

I think about it.

I've written about oh, maybe a hundred posts in my head.

Just can't seem to make it to the computer.

I'm not even sure why.

But I have a few sneaky suspicions . . .

Please excuse Mama Said from her blog for one or more of the following reasons:

A) She has been too busy chasing after her dog and keeping him out of the trashcan and from chewing up all the toilet paper.

B) She had her very first garden which somehow became quite time consuming. Although, it shouldn't have because she only weeded it about 2 days out of the whole summer. But, boy, did she sure like to look at it!

C) DVR!!! Mama Said has been catching up on a year's worth of TV since June 13 (The Day We Got TV Back). Unfortunately, she is rather addicted to TV and all she has really wanted to do this summer (after looking at her garden) is lay down in bed with a heating pad and watch TV until she pukes. BTW, Mama Said highly applauds whoever the genius is that invented DVR and fully believes she can never live without it again.

D) Facebook . . . she finally jumped on. Enough said.

Don't give up on me, ya'll! I feel a come back a-comin'!
Mama Said

If This Is Global Warming, I'll Take It!!!

I tell you what, this global warming stuff is just killing us around here. Oh, how we are suffering! In the past week, we have beat record lows from the 1800's!!! I'm talking we have been in the 50's at night.

Here.

In the South.

Where it is usually a heat wave this time of year.

Like upper 90's to 100.

But this year, we are incredibly having 75 degree days! Somehow we are having temps 20 degrees below normal despite the fact we are supposedly destroying the planet and causing temps to rise. Hmmm . . .

And we're having a bumper crop in the garden because it's raining like clockwork every 2-3 days, which drought is the norm for us at this time of year. I am just simply amazed because I thought food was going to be unable to be grown because I actually use plastic grocery bags and (cringe) have my thermostat set to 70! Yikes!

So, if this is Global Warming, I'm game! Suddenly, I don't feel so bad about standing in front of the open refrigerator, or (gasp!) leaving lights on all over the house, or taking baths as hot as possible, or having my Plug-In's plugged in, or (Dun-dun-DUN! Brace yourself!) using gas in my car!!! Aaaaagh! The nerve of me!

Heck, I think I'll head on outside now and just sit in my car with the windows down and the air on full blast. Oh, wait! I don't need the air on full blast because the temperature is so much lower than normal.

If you think like me, you get this post. If you don't and think I'm terrible, check out the Bible. The Lord promises that He shall destroy the Earth, not man. And that seasons will change as Jesus's return draws near. Sorry, honey, no carbon footprint is going to change what has been destined since before time began.

Mama Said

Do I Get a Prize For This?

Seriously, there should be a Playhut Olympics! It only took me 20 minutes and one broken fingernail to get this thing folded up and that's the fastest we've ever done it! And who needs to exercise when you've got one of these things around? I was sweating, sprawled all over the floor, and using every muscle in my body. Every time I would think that I almost had it, I would leap on it and hold on with all my strength just to have it pop back up in my face and throw me to the floor. But I did it! I'm really proud. Can you tell? After all, the thing is taller than me. And the Christmas my dad gave this tent to BFG, Rhett, my dad, and me all three together couldn't get it folded back up. In fact, the tent even popped up and hurt my dad in a private place. LOL! So I'm waiting for my prize. Even a congratulations would suffice.

And after folding this mumbo jumbo thing, I managed to vacuum the playroom and only vacuumed up one tiny Barbie fork! That was something in itself, too. Really, did you ever consider the feats you would have to accomplish when you were pregnant with your darlings? This stuff should be included in pregnancy classes. I think there could even be a game show with contests in stuff like cooking supper, answering the phone, and breastfeeding a baby all the same time. Or who can grocery shop with two buggies and three kids the fastest or something. My friend would definitely win that!

Of course, whoever gives me my prize for my accomplishments this week will have to ignore the unvacuumed downstairs, the unmopped kitchen, those towels I never got around to folding, the menu I never quite finished filling out, and the piles of boxes I still haven't unpacked. But, hey, at least the tent is down and we are only down one Barbie fork. That's pretty darn good for me this week.
Mama Said

Where I've Been The Past Two Weeks

With friends and family . . .

Cooking . . . (Didn't these Rice Krispie treats turn out cute?)

Keeping these two together . . .

And apart . . .
(The white puppy is my sister's Bichon. How do you spell that anyway?)

Catching BFG's first fish . . .

(I'm not sure who was more surprised-me or her. I wish I had a picture of my face on this one!)

Hangin' with the Big E. B. . . .
(Yes, my over 6 ft., 32 yr. old cousin did this of his own accord for our kids. Isn't that great? What's even greater is he got the suit from a man who dresses up in the suit on New Year's Eve and walks around in the countryside just for the fun of it. And, yes, he's been shot at doing it.)

Relaxin' in my own backyard . . .

Trying to not get wet . . .

(Didn't work. Of course, the moms are the favorite target!)

Hangin' by the pool . . .
(How do I get Barbie in so many of my pictures? I'm either very talented or very sick in the head.)

Basically, enjoying spring!!!

'Cause I know in the South within two more weeks it'll be hot as blazes and I'll be relocated to the indoors trying to not pass out from the heat (an ongoing problem for me, oh the stories!).

Happy Spring, Ya'll!

Mama Said

Teach Your Kids About The Real America

I heard about this really cool workbook on Phil Valentine the other day. This guy has put together a workbook about America. It has questions that are kind of like fill in the blank with research. It has a copy of the Constitution in readable print. It teaches history and famous quotes by U.S. Presidents and stuff.

You can purchase it at Our American Spirit for $14.95.

I really want to get one to use for teaching BFG down the road. I think it is really important to teach the kids of today the real principles our country was founded on. As our country is becoming more and more socialist with it's government involvement and our states' rights being trampled on right and left, I fear the upcoming generation won't even know what the real America was and then we've lost all chance of regaining it.

Of course, by the time BFG is old enough to for me to teach it to her, homeschooling will probably be illegal like in Germany.

But maybe we can get it back before it's totally lost. Maybe our generation will step up and demand truth and freedom.

Don't know what to do?

One, fire those idiots in congress who keep voting against the will of the people. How can you fire them? Vote against them!!!! Put term limits on them by booting them out of there!

Two, keep in contact with your Senators and Representatives at a federal and state level. Let them know what your beliefs are. Common sense is still the majority with the American people!!! Apathy is how all the lunacy gets passed through.

Three, teach your children to be proud Americans that stand for truth, justice, and honor.

Four, get your news from several different sources. Mainstream media just might be a little biased (just in case you couldn't tell from the last election). Can you hear the sarcasm dripping from that line?

And, of course, pray without ceasing for our leaders and for the Lord to forgive our nation for abandoning Him.

Whew! Ya'll didn't know I had all that bottled up inside, did ya'?

Mama Said

Do You Ever Forget Just How Powerful He Is?

Do you ever kind of forget just how powerful God is? I mean I know we all know how powerful He is, but do you know it? It's so easy for me to forget about His power because I try to take on everything myself and I don't like handing off my problems. I like sitting around and mulling them over and trying everything possible first before leaving them with the Lord and sometimes I even take them back. (I know I've got it all backward! Prayer should be the first step.)



And sometimes I think in our fast paced world where we don't have the in-your-face miracles of the Bible, it's easy to let it slip by you just how powerful He is. I mean if you were with Moses and saw the Red Sea parted, you would be in awe or seeing Jesus heal someone or make a little bit of food feed thousands. That's power you can see right there. It's hard to believe that there was doubt back then.



Probably the problem in my life I focus on the most is my secondary infertility. I try so hard to get pregnant. I take all the doctor's statistics to heart. Like after my laperoscopy, he said our best chance was in the next 3-6 months. Well, 5 of those 6 chances have passed with no pregnancy. I seriously could just bawl my eyes out over that. I think about how we've been trying so hard every month for 3 years and it gets me down. That's 36 periods I've had that have put me in a terrible mood and suck away at my hope a little at a time. (And, please, no one say that we just need to relax. That's a myth. Infertility is like any other diagnosed illness. I can't just relax my endometriosis away.)



Then, I'm reminded of God's awesome power. In little ways. Like when I was reading BFG's Bible story to her. It was the story of Joshua leading the Israelites into battle and it was getting dark and Joshua prayed for God to let the sun stay up longer. And God did it! He kept the sun up longer! When I read that, BFG said, "Oh, He can't do that anymore." (I think she got that from me telling her that God doesn't talk to us anymore using a burning bush like He did Moses.) I was like "Oh, yes He can. If He wants the sun to stay up all the time, He can." And it hit me---Mama Said, your Lord that you are not trusting to give you a baby in His own timing and way can stop the sun from setting. Ya'll get that? He can stop the sun from setting! When you sit and think about that, isn't that so amazing?



Fast forward a few days, I'm pms-ing and getting down because that fifth chance is passing by. My brother-in-law preaches a sermon about Jesus that has nothing to do with what struck me. But I guess God gives us different pieces of the sermon to take with us. In his sermon, he was talking about how Mary was a virgin. Okay, duh. Yeah, I know this. But I think it's one of those things we hear about so much that we are desensitized to it, ya' know? And the way he said it was different or something. And it hit me---Hello? I am an idiot! Um, God can impregnate a virgin, which I am definitely not. I think He can work around my endometriosis. And He can do it whenever He wants, not just in 3-6 months after a surgery. Puh-lease! What have I been thinking?



I know what I've been thinking. I had let myself forget just how powerful God is!

Mama Said

Houston, We Have A Sleeping Problem

Okay, okay. So it's more like a getting up problem. And, embarrassingly, it's MY problem.

Yup, I sleep late.

Every day.

Yes! Okay? I said it! I sleep late every single day and almost always do not get up until BFG comes downstairs. We get up anytime between 7:30 to 9:00 depending on whether she had a nap the day before or not. Okay, full confession. Yes, that means that some nights I get 9-10 hours of sleep. And, yes, I stay up all night reading 'cause it's my only time alone. And, yes, it keeps Rhett from getting a good night's sleep.

And, yes, I feel guilty! I know in my heart I could better serve my family and probably even change the tone if I would just get up early! I would have time to get things done. We wouldn't be rushed. I would scream and panic a whole lot less. BFG would not have her own little panic attacks saying "We're gonna miss it! We're gonna be late!" I just can't figure our where she's heard that! LOL!

I used to get up early. When BFG was a baby and she'd have me up at 6:30 am, we would just get on up and ready and be at the grocery store by 8:00. I remember my friend (who was my neighbor then) was so jealous. She said she would be stumbling to her cup of coffee and see me and BFG jet on by. Now, we are totally opposite! She's the one up early taking her kids to school and I'm slurping my coffee late.

I know you're saying, Just get up early, you lazy bum! I say that to myself every single day. My problem is that this is my battle of the flesh. My natural flesh would love to stay up all night and sleep all day, but the Spirit is telling me I need to get up early for my family. I battle myself every single day on this. I'll wake up when Rhett leaves for work and fight myself in my mind. Or I'll even set the alarm and when it goes off, I battle myself. So, far the flesh always wins. Isn't that pathetic? I enjoy sleep that much.

I'm telling ya'll about this because I really have to change this. I've been griping about it for years. Seriously, years. And I've got to do this. I've got to win this battle! I guess I feel like if I tell everyone, then I will have to follow through because more than I like sleep, I hate failure.

So, anyone else have this problem? Has anyone overcome this problem? Any tips, ideas, suggestions? Anything? Please, ya'll, I need your help and support!
Thanks,
Mama Said

It Was All Fun and Games Until . . .

Do you ever have those moments where everything is going super and then---Bam! Disaster strikes! Happens to me all the time. Little stuff like cooking a perfect, beautiful complete home-cooked meal for your family for the first time in weeks and then burning your finger as you take the rolls out of the oven. Or big stuff like being Melissa on the Bachelor--ya' know, winning and then been dumped on national television. (I'm so mad about that! But that's another story.)

Anyway, the other night we left my parents' house after visiting and dropping BFG off to spend the night. We had met there so Rhett was driving his truck in front of me. I had one of those rare moments alone in the car. Bon Jovi's "Shot Through the Heart" came on and I was jammin'! I mean I was just belting out the lyrics and doing hand motions and everything. Another song I liked came on that I'd been wanting to hear for awhile. By this time, I get to the highway and am just flying high through the night. Just jammin', looking forward to a BFG-free night, ready to watch ER, a great time. Then . . . dunh, Dunh, DUNH!

My IBS hit me like a ton of bricks. I think it ties or was maybe even worse than the Target Story because I was still like 10 miles from home. My little moment in the car turned into a nightmare superquick! It was terrible! First of all, Rhett is not known as the fastest driver in the world to put it nicely and I couldn't get around him. Second, I was in full stomach-cramping-sweating-I'm-never-gonna-make-it mode. Ya'll, I was hollerin' and prayin', turned the A/C on full blast, was shedding my jacket . . . I was in a panic. About 5-6 miles from home, I really thought I hadn't made it. So, at this point, I'm very angry that Rhett won't carry a cell phone and I'm about ready to run him off the road. Finally, we get to the square of our community. He turned off on the first entrance. So, I floored it and went to the second one. We met head on at our road. I was desperate not to be behind him again. I flashed my lights at him and totally whipped in front of him and cut him off turning on our road. Then, I flew home. I left everything in the car even my purse which is so not like me. And, ya' know what? I did make it! The good Lord did answer my prayers! I made it home before . . . well, you know.

Later, I asked Rhett if he figured it out. He said, "You mean when you almost ran me off the road? Yeah, and I had an idea when flew down our road going 60." (I so didn't. I only went 55!)

Anyway, my lesson in this was Why do situations like this make us so desperate? Would it have really mattered if I hadn't "made it" and had a mess to clean up? I mean, when I'm 80, would I have cared? Probably not. A potty accident by myself in the car would not have changed my life. So, then I think about my desperate cries and pleas to the Lord for clean drawers. He answered positively for which I praise Him and am grateful. But it made me think about what if I prayed like that for things that really matter like BFG's salvation or a family member's marriage or for our church . . . anything really that could make a real difference. Am I alone here on this? How often do ya'll pray in such a desperate way and fling yourself out there totally at His mercy and grace and will? It reminds of the examples in the Old Testament where people would dress in rags and beat their chests and stuff while praying (not that I was doing that while driving of course). I know I'm totally guilty of holding on to at least a little bit of my problems for myself. It's so hard to let go and put something out of my control.

Okay, wow! I did not mean to get that serious on the end of that! Oh, well! Funny story and food for thought for me.
Mama Said

What's Not To Love About Pippi?

Apparently more than we thought according to the powers that be. Read on for the details . . .

I was so disappointed the other day. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve read Pippi Longstocking out loud to BFG. We had an absolute blast reading it together! It was one of my faves as a child and I think it has become BFG’s as well. She was just thrilled to hear the outrageous stories of the silly girl who pretty much gets to do the opposite of everyone else. When we finally finished it and I kissed BFG good night, she called out to me, “Mama, I sure wish there were other books about Pippi.” I thought there was so I ran down to the computer and began my search.

And I tell ya’ what I found just burned me up!!! There is a new version (2007) of the original Pippi Longstocking and just read the review below that was on my library’s online card catalog. My comments are in blue.

School Library Journal Review
Gr 2 5 This oversize edition of the classic story has much to offer a new generation of readers. It has new full-color illustrations, some full spread, and a new translation. Nunnally updates some of Florence Lamborn's old-fashioned phrases (Um, what’s wrong with old-fashioned? When I was a kid, I was enthralled with old-fashioned books) and makes other terms more politically correct. For example, the original English translation calls Pippi's father a "Cannibal King," while this one calls him a "King of Natives." (When will people quit trying to rewrite history! You can’t go backward and make everything politically correct. And since when is the word “cannibal” politically incorrect? It’s just a joke in the story, people, showing how outrageous Pippi’s stories are and how she really didn’t know what she was talking about. Obviously, if they were really cannibals, they wouldn’t make her dad king. Duh!) In Lamborn's version, Pippi goes for a "morning promenade"; here, she simply goes for a "morning walk." (Oh, yeah, let’s dumb down all the words. We certainly wouldn’t want our kids to expand their vocabulary.) Nunnally's language flows naturally and gives a fresh, modern feel to the line drawings, filled with color and pattern, to create a Pippi who is full of personality. A variety of perspectives, colors, and textures adds movement and excitement to the story. Child often incorporates the text into the art, linking the text and illustration into a single whole. (There is absolutely nothing wrong with the old illustrations! Isn’t it amazing that kids have loved the book for 60 years with the pictures just the way they are. And—Gasp!—they actually get to use their imaginations!) Libraries should consider archiving (or retiring) older editions of this old favorite, and replacing them with this new offering. (Please, say it ain’t so! That is ridiculous! Classics are classics because they are wonderful and perfect the first go around!!!) Donna Cardon, Provo City Library, UT Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. From: Reed Elsevier Inc. Copyright Reed Business Information

Ya’ll, BFG is only 4! Get that—only 4 years old and absolutely loved the original story! I guess I got lucky and picked the old one up. She was exposed to a time that was completely unlike the time she is growing up in where little girls wore only dresses and little kids got to play outside without their parents watching and a three story building was the tallest building in town and all moms stayed at home and had coffee parties. She learned all kinds of new words including promenade because as we went along I taught her the definition. She was glued to my side begging for more even after I’d read 25-30 pages at a time. She had a sparkle in her eyes as she imagined the scenes described. Pippi is now her favorite character. Why would anyone change this?!?!?

Okay, I know I’m really going off about this and it is just a children’s book. But it scares me. It makes me think that within a few more generations we won’t have a true representation of our country’s history and of course it starts with the kids. And our kids in general are already not a smart as past generations. Why would you change the language to keep them from learning and stretching their minds?

Anyway, if you love Pippi like we do, be sure to grab an old version if you can.
Mama Said

Just Play Along On This One

Have you ever thought about how much has changed especially technology in the past 20 years? 15 years? Or even 10 years?

I remember when the Internet was text only. That was fun. And think about how long we waited for a page to download just to see that neon green text? And remember those old big floppy disks or even the small hard ones for that matter? My current computer doesn’t even have a spot for those and I just realized I’ve saved all kinds of stuff from my past on them. Whoops!

And, honestly, for most of us, can you even remember the last time you answered the phone and didn’t know who would be on the other end? Praise the Lord for Caller ID! I’ve even had a phone with audio caller id for the past year or so. I don’t even have to look at the phone to know who it is! Or what about—when was the last time you talked on a corded phone and were stuck in one spot? I never do anymore unless I’m just answering it real quick ‘cause I can’t find the cordless and I tell them I'll call them back on the cordless!

Think about how it will be for our kids. With DVR’s and stuff, there will come a time when our kids will be saying that they can’t remember the last time they watched a commercial. Or read a real-paper newspaper.

It’s pretty wild when you think about it. And what started me on this was hearing an old Garth Brooks song on the radio the other day and realizing how irrelevant it was to today.

Think about it. You remember that song “What She’s Doing Now?” Well, remember that part where Garth sings “Just for laughs, I dialed her old number. But no one knew her name.” I just thought: Oh my goodness! I feel so old! No one would even do that now. You wouldn’t need too. From 1992 til now, that song has become irrelevant.

Just play along with me and think about how it would be written today, 17 years later:

Just for laughs, I googled her name.
And saw her Facebook page.
As I click, I see right in front of me—what she’s doing now.

I don’t know why but I just think that is so hilarious! Or maybe I’m giggling as my defense mechanism against feeling twiddle-aged!

It is weird when you think about how easy it is to find someone now. I guess there’s not a lot of mystery left in our high-tech world.

Mama Said

Oh. Him too? Are you sure, God?

I've got a little Bible lesson for you that God pulled on me the other day.

I'll give ya' a little background info first:
I have been in a really grumpy mood the past couple of weeks. I don't know what my problem is other than a bunch of miscellaneous stuff that jumbles together and makes for a dark mood. When I get like this, I get very whiny, naggy, and just plain ol' ill with everyone. I feel undervalued, underappreciated, and overworked. And any little thing Rhett says to me, I jump on him and accuse him of picking on me and not treating me right, etc. It's really ridiculous and embarrassing. But in the moment, I feel totally justified 'cause I convince myself he's acting terrible. (Ya'll, please tell me I'm not the only one who ever does this! Yes, now. Tell me, please! Just yell it at the screen. I'll feel ya'!)

Okay, so ya'll know how I try to write in my prayer journal every weekday morning and read at least a chapter in the Bible. Well, the other day I was reading in 1 Peter and had gotten through like a chapter and a half when BFG had a dire emergency I just had to take care of. So, I decided to stop my reading there for the day and go change Barbie's dress or whatever it was.

So, the next day I picked up in the middle of that chapter and read:

1 Peter 2:18-25 which is about how slaves should submit to their masters and included
v 23 "when reviled, He did not revile in return;
when suffering, He did not threaten" (well, there's a little more but that's what stuck out to me)
I just read that over and over and thought "wow, Jesus was so cool and this is how we should be, yada yada."

Then, I continue on to 1 Peter 3 which starts with "wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands . . ."
Now, I know this verse. I've read it plenty of times. But I've always read it separate. I've never put it with the preceding chapter. I've just always read the descriptive part after "wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your own husbands." This time when I read it, my stomach just dropped. What?!? My husband, too? If I feel like he's picking on me or if he's not fulfilling his role to the utmost, I can't revile in return? Dang! The Lord worked me over on this one. And the Lord planned it so well where I still had that second half of chapter 2 to read which continued on to the wives and husbands chapter. I honestly don't think I would have ever put them together otherwise. And even though 1 Peter 3 basically says the same thing, it has just never hit me the same way as it did that morning.

I don't even know if any of this makes sense. And I want to be clear that Rhett treats me very well. He is not abusive or anything like that. Just annoying sometimes just like anyone you live with. And it's mostly my problem 'cause he'll act the same but my reactions change with my moodiness. Anyway, the point the Lord humbled me with is that it's not just everyone else we're called to be nice to---the Bible's teachings apply to our spouses too and it would be a good idea to start with your family first.

Mama Said

Epiphany

I had an epiphany the other day while doing the dishes. Two things I complain about the most are cleaning up the kitchen and never being alone. I always rush to clean the kitchen up as fast as I can to move on to the bigger and better things I want to be doing like just sitting down and having 5 minutes peace to look at a magazine or something, which never happens because I’m constantly attending to everyone’s needs.

While I was cleaning up some dishes after supper, I felt a God-whisper that said, “This is your time alone.” And I realized that while I’m cleaning the kitchen, I do have a break from being Mama. Rhett and BFG are usually having a well-satisfied moment in the living room and are playing together. Everyone is out of my hair and out of my way. I realized I have been complaining my way through a small gift of time that God gives me almost each and every day.

I began singing some hymns and thanking God and my mundane, tedious task became a quiet retreat for me. With a change in the way I looked at it (aka a change in my attitude), I was a lot happier doing something I dread doing each day.

I challenge you to look for some island of peace and calm in your day today and praise the Lord for it! It may surprise you! LOL!

Mama Said

One Year Ago Today . . .

was the first day I saw the house we now live in. Well, it's next door to my sister's. So, I'd seen it before. But last year, I came and looked inside to see if I wanted to buy it.








Yup, came by myself. No Rhett. I thought I'd check it out first and see if it was worth the hassle of dragging him out here. It was.



I never dreamed I'd live in a 130 yr old house much less in the country. But when I toured the place, it was like I had just found everything I'd ever wanted but never knew I did. It just felt like a homeplace.



It's funny reading back in my prayer journal at the time when we were making this huge decision. (I absolutely LOVE keeping a prayer journal just for this reason! I forget so much stuff! And you can look back and see prayers that were answered and your growth as a Christian.)



Anyway, I wanted the house so bad!!! I knew it would take tons of work, but I did not care. From the point I saw it, it was our home for me. Now, Rhett . . . uh . . . well . . . he liked the land. Seven and half acres in this area and at the price we got it was really slick. But ol' Rhett was bogged down last January with a new job and working on his Master's Degree. A ramshackle house was not what he wanted or needed.



In one of my journal entries I wrote:

"Rhett came home last night and said No on the house. I cried. I didn't even mean to. I just started crying."



I don't know how we decided. Of course, Rhett make the final call. But neither one of us wanted to be the one to really say Yes, Let's do it because it was so much risk.



Fast Forward One Year:

Now, I walk around the house and look at the work still left to do and think about all my stuff that's been in storage for 10+ months and I have no where to put when we get it out and guess what I do (or at least feel like doing) . . . CRY!!!!! Isn't that hilarious?



And, now, Rhett has researched the history of this house and land. He's researched the whole community. He does phone interviews with people. He drops in on elderly people and gets them to tell him everything they can remember about the house. All kinds of stuff. He's totally immersed in the house and the history that goes with it.



Don't get me wrong though. I am very happy here. And we both agree that the house just feels like home even if the bathroom tile crumbles every time we walk through and the paint is peeling off all the wood siding. This house just has a depth our other house didn't have. I just think of all the generations that have walked up and down the same steps I do each day. What were their lives like? What issues did they face? Were the simpler times really as golden as we think they must have been?



Plus, the longer our infertility continues, I am even happier we moved BFG next door to her cousins. They are so close she kind of gets that sibling feeling. At least they've got the arguing part down pat. :)


(Um, just in case it's not obvious, we don't live in a barn. The barn did come with our property though. I'm just not cool with posting my house on the web. Sorry!)
Mama Said

My Big Day

I did it.

Finally.

I graduated from physical therapy today (or as BFG would say "musical pherafy").

It only took twice as long as the average physical therapy attendee and most of them are over 60.

But I'm still proud.

It was a poignant moment.

A special goodbye with my therapist.

I even teared up. (I liked her. Dang it! I'm not sure if I could have made it through Christmas without having her listen to me complain during my massages. And she's a Sister in Christ and gave wise counsel, too.)

She gave me a big hug. ( I'm not sure if it was because she liked me too or because she was glad I finally graduated. I was a tough case. And all the griping and complaining I did probably got annoying after awhile.)

I was awarded a t-shirt.

I can actually truthfully say about physical therapy:
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Farewell, back and neck massages that my insurance pays for.
Farewell, heat therapy--my only 20 minutes of peace each week.
I'll miss you . . . .

Off to exercise the rest of my life (Blech!),
Mama Said

Reese's Overload

Okay, so maybe $30 worth of 75% off candy from Target was a little too much. It is alot of candy. Since I bought it, that's just about all we have been eating. Seriously, BFG's eating it for breakfast and so are we. We're all acting wild & crazy on our sugar high. It's really not that fun to have your child and husband bouncing off the walls or picking up the trails of candy wrappers from all over the house. And I bought all of this candy immediately after having a cavity filled. And I had been wondering how on this earth I had gotten a cavity and how I would do everything possible not to get another one. Ha! Forget a cavity. I'll probably be in a diabetic coma by the time we dig into the last bag.

I'm totally blaming Reese's. I bought big huge bags of Reese's mixes. We've got everything--Fastbreak, Nutrageous, Sticks, Cups, Pieces, etc. We even have the Reese's Cups with caramel. First time I ever tried them and let me tell you---they are darn tootin' fabulous!!! It's like I'm addicted to Reese's. About every 30 minutes (or less), I have to have my fix. I sneak off out to the sunporch and grab a handful of candy. And so are Rhett and BFG. It's like a revolving door out to the sunporch. What is it about Reese's? It's like peanut butter, but not. It's just so Reese's! My tongue is even sore I guess from swirling the candy all around trying to get all the joy I can from it. This is crazy! I'm getting the feeling the candy is not going to last as long as I had planned.

Oh, no! It's been 31 minutes and 12 seconds!
Gotta run before Reese's withdrawal kicks in,
Mama Said

Wonderings

I wonder . . .

Is it bad when your 3 yr. old daughter's play consists of Barbies hurtling through the house in their truck with BFG screaming, "We have to HURRY! We are late for CHURCH!"? I'm still trying to figure out where she got that. ;)

Is it really a compliment when your DH tells you that you are more attractive than ever because you look older and weigh more? The ironic part is he was sincerely complimenting me. Bless his bones!

Is it terrible to be 30 yrs. old and have no clue how to spell "complement" esp. when you are counting on spell check to tell you but at the last minute you realize that there are two words "complement" and "compliment" (at least you think so) and you have no idea which one is which and have forgotten any lil' ol' sing-song rule you may have learned to 20 yrs ago to help you know the difference?

Mama Said, Spell Check Diva

My Happy Quest

Finally, some time to share my happy quest with you! I'm actually in a very happy place right now thanks to the muscle relaxers my doc gave me to try to ease the pain I've had in my shoulder for years. At the risk of sounding like an addict (I'm not. I promise.), isn't it so cool to legally feel this good? If you said no, you are lying! LOL! It does get old after a while, but I have no problem with kicking back for a few days.

Anyway, I recently decided that I am going to force myself to be happy. Hence, the Happy Quest began. The thing is I really am very, very happy. I'm just not good at showing it. During my prayer journal time, I thank the Lord for my happiness all the time and will just sit in the quiet in awe of the happiness I have that I do not deserve. But in the daily grind, I nag, complain, gripe, yell, etc. What happens? Why can't I get that overflowing happiness out of my body flowing to my family?

Several things went into the decision for the Happy Quest.

1. My friend is going through a terrible time in her life and my daily counsel to her is to be happy and upbeat and not nagging and complaining. Isn't that ridiculous? How can I tell her to do that in the middle of a terrible time when I can't do it during good times? The kicker is for the most part she IS doing it, which makes me feel like a bigger loser that I'm not doing it.
2. I realized that Rhett and I don't have fun anymore. Oh, we love each other deeply and enjoy being together and all that. But we don't just have plain ol' silly fun like we used to. In the past, we've had to leave musuems and planetariums because we were laughing so hard. That just doesn't happen anymore. Part of that is 'cause we are responsible adults now. Part of it is we are set in our routines now. But part of it too is that I obsessively worry about everything which takes the fun right out of everything.
3. I just woke up one day sick of being thirty and walking around here in pain like I'm sixty. I should not be in this bad of shape and I'm tired of putting everything off and living with all this pain.
4. I'm sick of thinking about (okay, obsessing about) my infertility.

My Happy Quest Goals:

• Act/Be happy toward my family.
• Plan fun things for us to do as a family/couple (includes me loosening up). I've been working on this. Last Saturday, I even walked with BFG across an old dam crossing a creek and the three of us walked an unmarked nature trail. This may not sound big, but it was for me. I just knew BFG was going to slip off the dam and crush her skull on the rocks below and I kept waiting for some sicko with a knife to jump out from behind a tree. That's the kind of stuff I battle with in my mind and keeps us from having fun. I've been telling ya'll I am crazy.
• Go to all the necessary doctors and to live as pain-free as possible. Now you see why I've been going to all the doctors? Pray for me that the Lord will equip these doctors and heal my pain.
• Stop letting infertility take such a large presence in my life. I'm just sick of it. I'm gonna have the laperoscopy in the fall. Then, I am just done! It's all in God's hands anyway, but after that I feel like I've done my part. I'm just so tired of constantly thinking when, if, etc. Tired of making decisions based on well, I might be pregnant then. Or wouldn't this be cute if we had a baby by next year. Whatever. You get my drift. And I'm tired of hanging on to all BFG's old stuff for that someday, what if, maybe. I even sold a whole bunch of it at a consignment sale last week. I just want to move forward with the family God has already given me.

Whew! That feels good to let that all out. I'm off to relax with my muscle relaxer now!

Mama Said

Name Brand Junkie

Ooooh, I am so into name brand clothing! But only when it is second-hand or 75% off at Dillard's. I refuse to pay retail for name brand clothes. But, honey, when I come across those name brands at a yard sale or consignment sale for dirt cheap, my little ol' heart jumps a beat, my blood pressure rises, my pulse quickens, my eyes dilate, and I think I even salivate a little. Aaaaah . . . the beauty of dressing your family like big bucks on a real budget of a dime. And, let's face it, good name brand used clothing lasts a lot longer than new clothes from a discount store.

Here's my problem (I mean besides the addict reaction I have to used name brand clothes): I love my deals so much that I freak out when they get stains. Am I the only one? For example, Rhett gets a lot of black grease on his khakis when he has to work on equipment out on the line. I just kind of give 'em a little squirt of stain remover, shrug, and go on. I just can't worry about it or waste the time on it. Yet the other day, he was wearing a pair of Nautica khaki pants I had recently bought him and got caulk on them. I shrieked, "Those are the Nautica pants I got for 99 cents!!! Give them to me right now so I can get that off!!!" and I made him hand them over right there in the kitchen.

Let's take an example from BFG. Every season, I buy her those little T-shirts from Target when they go 75% off. In her size now, they cost $1.20 or so per shirt. I buy them brand new to be play clothes. I let her where them for every day and lots of times I don't even try to get the stains out. I just don't care about a $1.00 shirt from Target. But a Gymboree shirt I got for a $1.00 is gold. Absolute gold! A week or so ago, BFG and I were at a yard sale and she sees this white dress that was several sizes too big. But it was only 50 cents and she really wanted it to play wedding in. I got it for her to play in. But unfortunately for the both of us, I looked the tag up when I got home and realized it was a name brand. I was so excited!!!! I could sell this thing and make some money!!! But I had promised BFG that this was hers to play dress up in, so I had to let her. I was on pins and needles every time she played in it. "Be careful! Don't mess that dress up!!! Don't touch anything! Don't get a stain on it!!" Well, after only 3 times of playing in it, she shut me up. A felt tip black pen. Yup, right on the front. Again, I did the whole shrieking thing and made her take it off immediately to wash. But, it did not come out. Oh, well. Now, she can really play in it.

But I seriously think I have a problem. I can't believe I get so upset over 50 cent clothes just because they are a name brand. Y'all, I think this means that (Yikes!) I'm just as prideful as the people who pay full price for them! I don't think I'm prideful about the actual brands. I think it is pride for the deal I got. But it is still sooo wrong. On the other hand, I could look at it as I am making a better investment because name brands consign better and for more money. Yeah, that's it!
Mama Said

Sleep Attempt

Sometimes I wonder why I even try to sleep. I outta just stay up all night and get stuff done. But, alas, every night I try and try again to sleep. Every single night I have to get up to use the restroom at least once. Some nights, it's 2 or 3 times. Crazy, isn't it? I think I need some of that "I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now" medicine. Last night, I was up and down for hours running to the restroom 'cause of my irritable bowel syndrome. But I try not to complain about that 'cause I feel blessed that is all I have wrong with me after my crazy ordeal last year (which I'll explain in an upcoming post in July).

But the night before last, the reasons I didn't sleep were just ridiculous! I know I can't be the only mama out there that goes through this kind of stuff. Here's a run down of my night:

11:00ish--Went to sleep
1:30--Eyes fly open, wide awake with the realization that I did not pay our storage units this month. (Thanks, Lord, for letting me realize this!) Of course, I just couldn't believe that I had completely forgotten this for 2 weeks. So, I leap out of bed and double check my checkbook. Nope, nada. I had not paid. Resolved to go the next day and apologize profusely and pay. But I lay there thinking about how they had no way to contact us because I procured the units before we moved. All the wrong stuff was on our file. So, I tried to sleep with visions of 2/3 of all our material possessions be pilfered through and sold. Finally drifted off.
3:00--Rhett had to get up and leave for work to teach a training to 2nd shift. I don't know what happened to the boy, but he was SO loud getting dressed. The armoire doors kept slamming. Aaagh! I was not happy. I mumbled "What's your problem?" and drifted back off.
3:10--Rhett is still here?!?! He's pilfering through his little pile on the dresser. He flings open his wallet and is pulling out all the cards and such in there. Clearly even in my daze, I knew he had lost something. I ask and he's lost his ID badge to get in his work building. I suggest looking in his car. He tromps out and finds it. What would he do without me? I think as a drift off once again.
3:23--My eyes fly open as I realize Rhett is gone and it's pitch black outside and the past two mornings, he has left the door unlocked. Being the paranoid person I am, I had to get up and go check the door. It was locked. I guess my paranoid lecture the night before on the virtues of locking the door had gotten through to him. Aaaah! Time to sleep!
5:45--I hear BFG upstairs banging her drawers in search of something to change into. Apparently, today was Get Dressed As Loud As You Can Day and no one had told me. Of course, why she is waking up early every morning and changing into a nightgown is still a mystery. It's kind of become a problem this week. I asked her why on the first day she did it and she said, "Mama, you know I've been thinking and thinking that I didn't want to wear that shirt anymore." All righty then! I have realized "Hey, wouldn't it be a great idea if I just put her to bed in one of her nightgowns?" But, alas, due to my lack of sleep, I haven't had to energy to follow through on this thought.
5:48--BFG joins me in bed and starts talking and asking questions. This has been a problem this week, too. What is the deal? I'm sorry, BFG, but I didn't really need to know that Old Mr. Guinea Hen got up early this morning. In fact, I can still hear him squawking. I tell her it's too early to talk and to go to sleep. We both drift off. Or so I think.
6:15--BFG wakes me up to tell me she left E-yah upstairs and she needs him. (E-yah is her blankie. And, yes, she can say blankie. E-yah is it's name and has been since she could talk. My niece's blankie is named Mo-unt. So, apparently, they both inherited some freak genetic code.) I trudge up stairs and get E-yah for her. Finally, finally, I think gleefully. I can get some sleep!
7:03--I get up for the day.

So, you see my friend, why bother?
Off to chug-a-lug my coffee,
Mama Said