Not Me! Monday

BFG did NOT ask Rhett "How come Mama can't dance?" Rhett did NOT reply, "You don't think she can?" And BFG absolutely did NOT say, "Nooo, she's awful! Why can't she dance beautiful like me?"

Rhett and I did NOT spend Valentine's Day painting which of course did NOT lead to any fussing and nagging. And Rhett was NOT sick the whole weekend. And I did NOT keep forgetting he was sick and I absolutely did NOT hammer him all weekend with my fussing and whining and nagging. What? I would NEVER do that anyway. Oh, and we are not on Day 3 of another 1 day project.

My nephew did NOT come over to our house and start doing impressions of my dad. He did NOT call my dad a cheapskate. Of course, Rhett and I were NOT rolling on the floor laughing. And my nephew did NOT go to my dad's house the next day and confess to my dad and apologize for calling him a cheapskate at our house, which did NOT lead my dad to believe we were all sitting around here talking about him.

Finally, I NO WAY, NO HOW, did NOT discover I have been feeding my family Mexican vanilla that is poison. Whatever! Who would do that? Because of course you can trust a big bottle of Mexican vanilla bought at the Mennonites for $5.00. Just because it looks like it is in a used water bottle and the peeling off label is completely in Spanish does NOT mean you can't trust it. Oh, please. My mom did NOT warn me about this a couple of months ago. And I did NOT just now look it up. And the brand of vanilla I have has NOT been listed on the FDA's poison list since 1998. And we totally have NOT used a third of the bottle over the past couple of years. And I did NOT discover this right after I had made a cake with best frosting ever, which I did NOT continue to eat even though I knew it was made with poison. And I did NOT think with every bite that each bite could be the last bit of poison needed to put me into kidney or liver failure. And of course, I threw the Mexican vanilla away immediately and did NOT wait until I had a chance to go to the store and buy some more. Since NONE of this happened, I am NOT really sad because the poison vanilla was the NOT best I've had in my life and did NOT make people think I was a much better cook than I really am.

Happy Not Me-ing!
Mama Said