Not Me! Monday

Let's start with the small stuff:

• I absolutely did NOT let BFG go about two weeks without brushing her teeth. After all, I am much more responsible than that and her dental health is one of my top priorities.

• I did NOT put dirty knives that Rhett had "washed" back into the wood block because I was NOT scrambling like mad to get my house clean for a play date. Who would do that? And everyone who knows me knows that my house is the epitome of cleanliness and is ALWAYS prepared for any guests we might have esp. ones who are NOT coming over for the first time.

• I absolutely, sure-fire did NOT freeze in fear when BFG choked on a mint Lifesaver. Come on, I have had 5 years of Child CPR/First Aid Training and I know just what to do in ANY emergency. I would NEVER freeze while my mind is flipping through the pages of the first aid book trying to decide what to try first while BFG is screaming Mama! through the hole of the Lifesaver in her throat. And, of course, I did NOT consider throwing her down to the floor to do a finger-sweep of her mouth before trying anything else. That would be ridiculous. And Rhett did NOT come running after minutes of my paralysis ready to break her ribs if necessary to get out the Lifesaver. And my fear of him doing so did NOT spring me into action and cause me to start pounding on her back til she gagged up the candy. Seriously, I am well-trained for these situations and this scenario would NEVER happen in my home.

• Finally, Rhett and I did NOT go to Wal-Mart Saturday night for our date. That would be way too pathetic and besides, going to Wal-Mart with BFG is SO much more fun and SUCH a pleasure. And I did NOT, NO-WAY, NO-HOW walk around Wal-Mart passing gas because I'd eaten way too much dinner. Are you kidding me? That would be so rude. And so embarrassing especially when I did NOT realize one of my former students and her dad were following me around trying to figure out if it was really me or not. Oh, and she is so NOT 10 years old now and the whole experience did NOT make me feel incredibly old.

Have a fun Not Me! day,

Mama Said