Syringe Malfunction! Are You Kidding Me?

Why does all the embarrassing stuff happen to me? And in case you haven't guessed, the latest incident took place at none other than the OB/GYN's office. I had scheduled a post-c test. (For all you infertile people, you know what I'm talking about. For the others, use your imagination because I'm trying to keep bad people from visiting my bog.) So, to start off with, I was more paranoid than usual to be examined 'cause I normally don't do what I had to do right before and I try to be fresh and clean. I prepped and prepped. Way more than I prep for Rhett. LOL! I have a fear of everyone at the office laughing at me behind my back which is one reason why I go to a male doctor 'cause I think they would be less likely to gossip and it would have to be pretty darn bad for a guy to think it was weird or yucky. Does anyone know what is normal for that area? I try to just have things looking as normal and average as possible. Unfortunately for this visit, I am pretty darn sure I crossed the line into weird and even managed to cut myself somehow. But I convinced myself the test would only take a few seconds and he probably wouldn't even have time to take note of my personal care. Wrong! I gathered myself up, slathered myself with lotion, and yelled at Rhett that Didn't he feel weird that in a couple of hours a strange man would be checking out what we had just done? He laughed. Really hard. A little too hard if you ask me. He said he didn't care at all 'cause my doctor is no threat to him. Which is totally true. But I still felt a little offended. After all, I'm going through all this to try to have his baby and lots of women run off with short men with glasses who are 25 years older than them.

At the doctor's office:
We are both in place for the test. Tools in place and everything. The nurse is new or something. She fumbles around and can't get the syringe to work. Are you kidding me? She had to leave and get another one while he's down there and all my goods are facing the door. It suddenly hits me that now he has plenty of time to observe my weird grooming and I get so tickled. The hilarity of it just struck me. I mean how many syringes fail while you are in this position? Probably not many. So, I am trying to hard not to laugh. He's down there observing and making commentary on how things look and when I'll ovulate and stuff. By this time, I am shaking and biting my lip. He notices and thinks I'm upset. Doc: "Oh, it's nothing to worry about. Just a malfunctioning syringe." That just made me laugh even more. Luckily the nurse came back before I lost it and the rest went okay. The thing is---this happens alot to me. Not the syringe part, but the nurse having to get something while I'm left in an awkward position. Of course, I've been to the ob/gyn's office ALOT over the past 2.5 years. But I think this was the first time I was so embarrassed about how I looked.

One of my readers has a post about preparing for an ob/gyn visit that is just hilarious and echoes most women's thoughts on the subject. I didn't want to link it 'cause it is so personal. But I'm hoping she posts a comment and links it for y'all. It is sooo funny!

Here's to functioning syringes from here on out!
Mama Said