Help! I'm Wrapped!

Isn't this just a horrible sight? This is how I left the podiatrist's office the other day. Yup, my feet are completely covered top and bottom from that second strap back. Oh, and excuse the lack of toe nail polish which is a huge no-no in my book. But I had taken it off last week when I was going for a physical because I had just read in some magazine that doctor's can tell alot from your nails and to always take off your polish before you go. And when I took off my polish, I found these little brown spots on my big toe nail that worry me. But I didn't mention them because Rhett told me my list of ailments for my physical was already so long that I was already gonna be "tagged" on my chart. You know like the Seinfeld episode. And apparently the magazine was wrong 'cause the doctor did not bother to look at my toe nails close enough to even find the brown spots on his own. Oh, well. And the podiatrist didn't either. Maybe they're nothing.

The podiatrist visit was really okay other than having to listen to his wacky liberal beliefs like teachers shouldn't encourage children to excel because there are only so many spots in life for high-achievers and how home-ownership is just locking you down in the system and takes away your freedom 'cause renting is so much better. Oh, please! He is a freakin' doctor!!!! Do you think he rents? Ha! How can he believe this stuff??? And why was he telling me? He's obviously one of those liberal elitists I have heard about but never have actually known. And he must have thought I'd be on his side 'cause I made the mistake of telling him I had been a teacher and most teachers are liberal. They are trained to be for those you who don't realize what is going on in your child's school. But little did he know that I am an ultra-conservative traditionalist. In fact, I embrace the whole being home and barefoot and pregnant thing except that now I'm not allowed to ever go barefoot 'cause my feet are jacked.

But I had no idea he was going to wrap my feet up like that. It does feel really good except taking a bath without getting my feet wet is rapidly losing its appeal. So, I was wearing my Birks that day and when he wrapped them, my feet were so tight that I couldn't keep my shoes on. So, I'm meeting my friend for lunch at a Mexican restaurant by the local college campus. I get out of the car in front of all these college kids eating out on the patio and with every step I take, my shoe falls off which made me laugh hysterically adding interest for the looky-loos. Later, I ran some errands while waiting to meet my MIL to pick up BFG and I developed a little 90-yr-old shuffle that allowed me shoes to stay on. It was hilarious! I looked like a burn victim or something. I can barely move and people are being extra nice to me. And on the inside, I'm like zip-a-dee-doo-dah 'cause my feet haven't felt that good in 10 years.

If you have ANY kind of foot pain, I highly recommend seeing a podiatrist. I am kicking myself for not going sooner. Mama Said