Vacuuming Rules

Does anyone else have rules when they vacuum? Or am I weirdo?

I hate vacuuming with a passion and I've found if everyone will just follow my Vacuuming Rules it makes it a wee bit more bearable.

Rule #1: The dog must be outside before the vacuum even comes out from hiding or we get to listen to insane barking.

Rule #2: No one is allowed to run around in front of the vacuum trying to get eaten by the Vacuum Monster.

Rule #3: No one is allowed to jump over the cord while I'm vacuuming. It's annoying and dangerous and I'm already mad enough at the cord getting hung on everything.

Rule #4: Do not talk to me while I'm vacuuming unless someone is bleeding or unconscious. Preferably only if you need 911. It stands to reason that I cannot finish the job if I have to keep stopping and turn everything off to hear what the person is saying and they are usually asking me to do something that I cannot do while vacuuming anyway!

The problem is no one follows my vacuuming rules. (Sigh!) And I end up screaming and mad on top of being hot, sweaty, and tired.

Oh, sometimes Ol' Rhett will vacuum for me, but he has no rules and makes it a huge game in which he and BFG break every single rule getting on my very last nerve.

Can you tell I vacuumed yesterday?
Mama Said