Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Our Not Me!’s this week are totally long and totally worth it! It was one of those weeks!

Our clock totally did NOT fall off of the TV in the middle of the night Tuesday night. And if it did, Rhett did NOT leap to his feet in one single motion like we’d been attacked. And in the NON-chaotic moment, Rhett did NOT somehow reset the clock ahead one hour. And since none of that happened, he did NOT get to work at what he thought was 7:00 am and look at his computer to discover it was only 6:00 am. No way! Not him! And that next night, we did NOT discover that he somehow set the alarm for midnight, too. And I did NOT scream at him for me to take care of it because we were NOT letting BFG sleep on the couch because she does NOT think ghosts are talking to her in her room and I was NOT scared the alarm would wake her up. And while I was NOT taking care of it, I did NOT just hit the snooze button and turn it off of buzzer to radio. So, we were NOT repeating the whole situation 10 minutes later.

Since we had a week with TONS of sleep, it should be no surprise that BFG did NOT wake up at 3:00 am the next night. And of course, she did NOT throw a fit when I offered to sleep in her bed with her. I did NOT relent in my tiredness and did NOT let her come get in bed with us. I would NEVER do that especially when Rhett does NOT have to be at work early the next day. And, of course, the pajamas BFG turned down earlier did NOT become a necessity at 3:00 am. So, I totally did NOT change her into her pjs on our bed. And the following did NOT take place---
BFG: mumble, mumble, underw*ar off?
Me: What?!?! No, you can’t take your underw*ar off!
BFG: What?!?!?! I’m not wearing any?
Me: What?!?!? What are you talking about? Oh! (as I realize I did NOT pull of her underw*ar with her pants) No, let’s pull these back up.
As I was NOT putting on her pajama pants, she did NOT keep pulling back the second leg and refusing to push it in. And I did NOT scream “You just push! I’ll get your pants on! Push! Now!” And I did NOT get them on, all right. And there is NO way I put both of her legs into one pant leg. And I did NOT burst into hysterical laughter brought on by the third night of no sleep. I was NOT laughing so hard I was crying. And Rhett did NOT pick that very moment to accidentally roll over on BFG’s long hair. BFG did NOT cry like her heart was broken because it was so NOT painful and did NOT hurt her feelings. And I was NOT still laughing so hard that I couldn’t get her legs out of her pajamas much less comfort the poor thing. And she did NOT spend the rest of the night glued to me because she was trying to get as far away from the offending hair puller as possible. Seriously, half of her pillow was NOT on top of mine and she did NOT keep either an arm or leg draped over me until we got up the next morning.

I totally did NOT let BFG and Curly Sue (my niece) play with the Barbie pool with water in it inside!!! Are you kidding me? I’ve been a mother for 4 ½ years and a preschool teacher for 5 years before that! I would NEVER lower myself to that level of stupidity! And if I did bust out the Barbie pool inside, I totally would NEVER believe that a folded up beach towel under the pool would be enough mess protection. And of course, I would NEVER forget to tell them they were not allowed to add any more water to the pool. And after the girls were finished, my nephew did not peek in there and say, “It’s a huge mess in there!” and I did NOT laugh “Ha, ha! Oh, is it?” and smile to myself pleased that the girls had a good time. And the fact my nephew chose to go the bathroom outside instead of in the bathroom should NOT have given me a clue to how bad the mess was. So, I was totally NOT shocked when I walked in the bathroom 45 minutes later. There was NOT water literally all over the bathroom even on the pictures hanging on the walls. No way! Are you kidding me? NOT my subdued, quiet girls. Water had NOT soaked through the beach towel and three (yes, three) bathrugs! And I did NOT almost lose it when I saw they had gotten water on my Birkenstocks. Of course NOT! Because this NEVER happened! And I totally understand why our toothbrushes were in the Barbie pool. EVERY Barbie brushes her teeth while swimming at the pool party. Ken’s there, ya’ know. I absolutely did NOT whisper a prayer of thanks to the Lord that we are redoing the bathroom floor in a week. Why would I? The mess was so NOT that bad. In fact, I’m NOT gonna let them play it again tomorrow.

Happy Not Me-ing!

Mama Said