The Day After

Well, folks, it turns out that the next day was almost as crazy! I know ya'll are going to think I am making this stuff up. But, I promise this stuff is real. I don't think I could actually make up this kind of stuff. The morning was great except that my friend couldn't get together after all. But Target went 75% on the Easter stuff. I hit two Targets and racked up on good stuff! You just can't beat those little t-shirts for girls for $1.25.

Anyway, later in the evening, we are sitting in the living room and hear a bird in our chimney. I make the BIG mistake of saying that it was going to keep us up all night. Rhett (that's my DH) says that he can get it out through the damper. I vote no, but he's determined. So, I make him promise, promise, promise that he can get it out without it flying all over the house. He gets down there and opens the damper and nothing came out. He looks and it is a huge bird that will not fit through the damper. Ring, ring. We get a return phone call from this guy we want to hire to level our floors. Rhett takes the phone call. Meanwhile, baby chicks had been fussing for awhile. BFG (Baby Farm Girl) and me go check on them. They have spilled their water again. So, I am having to clean out their crap (literally) once again. Rhett is having the time of his life on this phone call apparently. He's jabbering away. Unfortunately, the damper had broken or something and fell out into the fireplace and ANOTHER bird flew down our chimney and into the house. Rhett didn't miss a beat and kept talking while he cornered it in the bathroom and shut the doors. (Yeah, our one bathroom has two doors. Weird.) Meanwhile, I had no idea this had happened and I get done tending to the chicks and BFG gets a splinter in her toe. I set in her a kitchen chair and head for the tweezers. Of course, you can guess where the tweezers are. Yup, the bathroom. I open the bathroom door and swoosh. Ya'll, I screamed bloody murder and slammed that door. Then, I hear Rhett (still on the phone) say "yeah, that's just my wife panicking 'cause there's a bird in the house." So, when he got off the phone 15 mins. later, he did catch the bird (with gloves on, of course) in the bathroom. I was still in the kitchen trying to get out BFG's splinter with a needle only. Rhett walks in and says "you should see this bird. it's no ordinary black bird." I kid you not, at the moment I look up, the extraordinary black bird slips out of Rhett's hands and swoops down over my head. He finally got it out of the house. But I am still mad over the whole thing. 'Cause ya'll know we got bird poop all over our clean bathroom and on my brand new shower curtains. Plus, his gloves had cinder ash all over them from the fireplace and being a man, he grabbed my shower curtain and left a big ol' cinder-ash handprint. Stuff was knocked over everywhere. It was a mess. I'll get over. It wasn't really Rhett's fault. And, hey, the next time he has to come to my rescue I can say, "Well, remember when . . . ."

God bless,
Mama Said