Not Me! Monday

First of all, I have to share one of my friend's Not Me!. She doesn't blog and I'm telling ya' the world deserves to hear this story. My friend did NOT take her cat to the vet to have an eye infection treated and did NOT decide to have him neutered while he was there. In surgery, the vet did NOT flip the cat over to NOT find that he had already been neutered! No way! Who takes their already neutered cat in to be neutered? NOT my friend! After all, she did NOT inherit the cat from her sister. And her sister had NOT been pestering her for months to have it done because she had NOT signed paperwork at the shelter saying she would.

On a more somber note, Rhett and I have NOT been visiting a new church. And it was NOT getting to crunch time for us to decide whether to go to the next level and start Sunday School and stuff there. So, we did NOT go yesterday to hear just one more sermon to make our decision. And, by golly, the preacher did NOT resign yesterday! Are you kidding me? I mean we've NEVER heard a preacher resign before. NOT at all! In fact, it has NOT happened so much that every church in town is begging with open arms for us to start attending their church. A little black cloud does NOT follow us, I promise!

And the resignation did NOT cause the whole congregation to burst into tears. And Rhett did NOT echo my thoughts be leaning over and whispering, "Now's our brother-in-law's chance!" (He is a preacher currently without a church.) Of course, I did NOT burst into a cheesy grin while everyone around me was crying! Whatever! That is so rude! When we were dismissed, Rhett did NOT whisper "Run for the door!" because we both knew everyone would be crying and talking forever as they shook the preacher's hand. His comment did NOT make me laugh inside even harder and I did NOT shake that poor man's hand while laughing. I did NOT! My Southern manners are MUCH more genteel than that!

And when we got home from church, a fire truck did NOT roll up in front of our house with the lights flashing! I did NOT have a moment of panic thinking our house was on fire and we didn't know it! A fireman did NOT get out, run into the yard between mine and my sis's house, and run back to the truck yelling "No smell! No sign!" and take off. Whatever! That just does NOT happen! I mean, you would think someone called 911 on our house or something.

Finally, one of my fears did NOT come true this weekend. When our collie puppy Rocky was playing with my sister's yellow lab Honey, he did NOT get tangled up in Honey's cable. Seriously, the cable was NOT tangled up around his abdomen and his back legs. And Honey was NOT dragging him around the yard with Rocky crying in pain. And, since I am NOT scared of Honey in the least, I did NOT scream for Rhett, who was NOT across the road talking to the paranoid neighbor that I think may have called the fire dept. on us. Seeing how I was NOT screaming and almost crying, BFG did NOT start crying her eyes out and screaming for her daddy. Rhett was NOT taking his sweet time and BFG and I were NOT screaming louder "Hurry, hurry!" And when Rhett got almost to us, I did NOT panic and just reach down and unhook Honey's cable. This was NOT a problem at all since Honey is NOT wild and huge. Needless to say, Rhett was NOT a bit frustrated with me especially after chasing Honey for 15 minutes trying to get her back on her cable. Hee hee!

Happy Not Me-ing!
Mama Said