Not Me! Monday

First of all, I am NOT thrilled that Baby Stellan is home!!!

I did NOT get out BFG's wooden barn the other day for the first time in a very long time. She did NOT play with it on my bed that had freshly laundered sheets. When she was finished, I did NOT notice little brown "sprinkles"inside the barn. That's right. I absolutely did NOT let my 4 yr. old play with a toy full of mouse poop. Are you kidding me? I ALWAYS check ALL of her toys for mouse poop before allowing her to play with them! Doesn't everybody? And, of course, NONE of the poop got on my clean sheets because if it had I would have rushed to change them right away.

I have NOT been hearing myself losing my marbles one by one over the past week. NOT at all. A good mother would NOT go insane being trapped in the house with a very sick child, a wild puppy, and torrential rains. And the day BFG got better, I did NOT start getting sick myself. And the very next day, BFG did NOT get sick a second time with the illness I do NOT have. That is so NOT me! I handle stress and sickness and puppy destruction with TOTAL grace. Besides, it's NOT supposed to rain the rest of the rest week too. We have NOT reached our average rain totals for the month of May in the first few days.

During one of our trips outside (which was just for the fun of it---NOT to let our puppy Rocky run off some energy), BFG did NOT accidentally let go of her Croc while washing it in the creek. Come on! Who lets their sick child play in the creek anyway? Since it had NOT been raining for 4 days straight, the Croc did NOT go rushing downstream into a spot I couldn't reach. And I did NOT want to throw up because Crocs are SO INexpensive and I knew that BFG would NOT be upset at all to lose her beloved Dora Crocs. And I did NOT buy them on clearance last summer and that did NOT make them all the more precious to me. Because NONE of the above happened, I did NOT spend 20 minutes trying to fish for the Croc with a Barbie fishing pole. NOT me! That SO obviously would never work! Then, I did NOT drag wood from the chicken coop to try to make a bridge to the Croc. Why would I drag the wood? It was SO light and EASY to carry. I had NOT almost succeeded when Rhett got home and saved the day. Rhett was NOT BFG's hero and I got JUST as much thanks as he did. NOT that I expected it or anything since I did NOT spend at least 45 minutes trying to get her shoe for her.

A character from our local news was NOT at story hour. I totally did NOT want to go to see this icon from my childhood! For some reason, BFG was ECSTATIC about going! And, we did NOT have an argument over going. BFG did NOT scream "I don't wanna see a man dressed up in a penguin suit!" Being the mature person I am, I did NOT scream back, "Please! I just wanna go see him! How could you do this to me?" Whatever! No self-respecting 31 yr. old would sink to this level! And, by the way, BFG did NOT win this argument.

Finally, I did NOT get to have a grown-up girl sleepover at my friend's house with our stay-at-home mom's club! We did NOT have a blast either! After we ate, we did NOT go to this divine bakery to indulge even more. NOT us! We HATE food! One friend and I are NOT so cheap that it took us 15 minutes to decide what to get. And the teenage boys working there were NOT making fun of us. And our friends were NOT pretending like they didn't even know us. We did NOT end up splitting a dessert either. And we were NOT so busy counting out pennies at the register that I did NOT leave my doggie bag from dinner on the counter. And that did NOT upset me in the LEAST!

Happy NOT Me-ing!
Mama Said