Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I'm A Big Kid (gulp!) Grown-Up Now!

Do ya'll feel grown up? I know I sure don't. There are lots of times I feel like I'm still just bumbling through like I did when I was a teenager. And I really don't feel any different than I did then. Although I know I must be. And I'm talkin' like mentally and emotionally. I definitely feel different physically. My poor ol' body just ain't holding up. But there are moments when it just hits me like a ton of bricks that Oh my goodness! I am a grown-up! Like when BFG was a tot and had projectile vomiting and I realized Hey, this is my job to clean this up and take care of her. Or when the septic tank backed up once and I had to clean the sewage up in the bathtubs. Well, I recently had a couple of "I'm a Grown-Up" moments.
The first one was on Saturday when I ran into one of my close friends from high school at a yard sale. Yes, she was having the yard sale and I was shopping, which is a whole 'nother issue. Kind of uncomfortable. I was face to face with my dear friend whom I hadn't spoken with in 12 years and she was exactly the same! It was so comforting and felt so right to chat with her. But as we discussed jobs, husbands, kids, and our homes, I just had the weirdest sensation that I was a genuine, bonified grown-up! How did that happen? When did that happen? Later, I wondered how I looked to her. Do I look the same? Do I look 12 yrs older? I know I looked rough. I was yardsaling, for Pete's sake. Then, I realized I was wearing a T-shirt that I wore in high school! Is that bad? A 12+ yr old T-shirt? Oh, well. I'm just gonna take the blessing that I can still fit into it and run with that.
The other grown-up moment is kind of embarrassing. Ya'll are going to think I am so weird. I broke a light bulb in the floor. Now, surely I have broken and cleaned up a light bulb in the 12 yrs since I've left my parents' home. But I sure can't remember it. I just stood there staring at the fragments thinking, "I'm not supposed to have to clean this up. I should be hearing 'Don't step in it. Get out of the way!' and get to scamper off to my bedroom." And there was this white powder. What was the white powder? Where did it come from? After several minutes of staring, feeling out-of-joint, and wondering what the white powder was, I gathered every ounce of grown-up in me and cleaned it up. I don't know why it was such an odd moment for me. I guess it just hits me every once in awhile that I am now living out my mom's role.
Have you had any "grown-up" moments? Or if your older, when am I supposed to feel like a grown-up for good?
Mama Said

1 comment:

Growing Hearts said...

I seem to have more moments where I feel like I'm NOT grown-up. Like when I have to make a big decision, and I get fearful of what my parents will say. Or when I'm visiting my parents, and they correct my kids right in front of me. Or when my DD woke up one night, not able to breathe, and we had to take her to the ER. I had a panic attack, while we were trying to decide what to do. But you know? I eventually decided I had to "man-up", get over it, and take care of my little girl. It wasn't about ME; it was about her.
I think that's when we finally "grow up" - when we quit being selfish and put our DH and kids above ourselves.

 

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