What's For Dinner?

Now, no one else may think this is funny. But I just laughed and laughed. My parents are retired. They are only like 57 or something, but they act like they are 80. Now, when my mom retired, my dad promised her that he would buy all the groceries. And he is buying groceries, but he doesn't buy any staples for her pantry so there is nothing for her to put together a meal. They do have a freezer full of beef from buying a cow, but my dad is having problems with his jaw so he can't chew any of it and won't let my mom fix it. Oh, FYI, my dad has the money to buy the groceries. So, it's not like they are poor and starving.

So, last night, I'm talking to my mom on the phone and she is just griping away about all of the above and that her health is so bad she can't go to the grocery herself. She said that it has gotten so bad (meaning they are so low on food) that for dinner my dad fixed Ramen noodles with hot dogs cut up in it. My mom: "I just told him, 'You can have the whole entree; I'll eat a bag of popcorn!' " That just got me so tickled! My dad is like a bakery/deli snob. He'll buy $4-5 loaf of bread from Publix bakery and only eat on it for one day before he deems it stale. But he's eating Ramen noodles with cut-up hot dogs!!! Plus, he keeps buying Rotel tomatoes. My mom said she has a whole shelf in her pantry filled with Rotel tomatoes and nothing she cooks calls for them. Except of course for Rotel dip which she used to make once a year five years ago! (They stopped hosting the event she used to make it for.) Isn't that a riot?

It's so ridiculous that I don't know who I feel sorry for more. So, I just have to laugh about it.
Getting my laughs and giggles,
Mama Said

My Mixer, My Friend

Yes, yes, yes! My Kitchen Aid mixer is finally out of storage!!! (Picture me standing on a chair pumping both fists in the air.) I am so excited! This has been one of the things I have missed the most. Hate to sound like a mixer-snob, but a dinky little hand mixer just doesn't cut it. Anyone who does not have a big ol' mamma-jamma Kitchen Aid mixer is missing out. I'm telling ya' this baby is worth scrimping and saving up for.
Aaaaaah! My mixer! How I do love thee! We go way back. I was blessed to have received this as a gift when I was 20. So, for my whole adult-out-on-my-own life, I have gotten to use this for all my mixing needs. (Well, except for those few things in which a hand mixer is superior like 7 Minute Frosting.) Isn't she beautiful? That steel grey has blended in beautifully with the decor in at least 5 different homes in the past 10 years. Wait! Oh my gosh! I have had this thing for 10 years! How twiddle-aged is that? Next thing you know, I'll be like my mom and talking about towels I've had for 30 years. Yikes!
But, anyway, 10 years is a long time for an appliance to last and I've had no problems at all from it. (Knock on wood.) And they are made in the USA. Ya'll know how important that is to me. And I think if Kitchen Aid should ever see this post, they should pay me, don't ya'll? Of course, why I am basically writing a commercial is beyond me. I guess I think every woman should have one. It really makes cooking esp. baking so much easier.
The only down side is I worry a little about BFG sticking her hands down in it while it's running 'cause it is so powerful. But I scare her off with a story about my sister getting her hands caught in the beaters once. Every time I use it I say, "Remember what happened to your aunt?" and BFG's eyes get huge and she recites the story and the no touching-the-mixer rule back to me. I really get a jolly off of it every time. I'm so bad!

What a Mess!

Can you believe this mess? We hired some guy to cut down this tree that was hanging over our house and power lines. We got a good deal 'cause we agreed to haul it off ourselves. But the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw this told me that Rhett and I didn't think this through. And the bad part of the deal is they didn't cut it up small enough for us to haul off. The guy told Rhett "Well, we figured you'd tie a rope up to your truck and pull 'em off." What???? We don't know how to do that. It doesn't even make sense to me to drive it off one piece at a time? What the heck? This is going to take a loooong time to clean up. My niece and nephew helped me haul off some of the limbs and branches yesterday. We hauled off 4 truck loads in three hours and it doesn't even look like it made a dent in it. Rhett and I are insane! We've made too many decisions on this house without thinking it through and asking enough questions. Aaaaaagh!

The living room floor is down though. We had to hire someone to finish that. It looks good, but Rhett was a little concerned when he got home and saw that the guy had only used a bottle and a half of glue. After the guy was done, he told Rhett that he had never glued a floor down before. Uh, are you kidding me? Ya' think you could have mentioned that before. So, our floor will probably fall apart in a matter of time.

I had one embarrassing moment with the floor guy. He had to sand some of the original floor and needed to sweep up. He asked me for my broom. That's right, folks. My broom is gone. I have no idea where it is. So, he's standing there waiting and I'm running all over the house, up and down stairs trying to find my broom. I never found it. Still haven't found it. The floor guy said, "I'm sorry. I should have brought one." Me: "Uh, no, I should have a broom!"and mumbled off some lame excuse of how we have so many projects going on and Rhett must have used it and not put it back. But I know in my heart that at that moment, the floor guy voted me the world's worst housekeeper. Oh, well. A vacuum does better anyway.

Bumble Bees, Doughnuts, and Waspy Windows

I learned a few lessons last week and like any good blogger, I thought I should share so the same mistakes don't happen to you.

Lesson #1: Do not listen to your hubby when he promises nothing will happen if you fight through waist high weeds in a creek bed with your 3 yr. old. Also, a bee with a black backside is not necessarily a wood bee like I thought. Can you see where this is going? BFG and I were trying to catch up to Rhett when a big bee with a black bottom starts buzzing around BFG. Me over BFG's shrieks of panic: "Oh, honey, it's just a wood bee. Just stand real still. It can't hurt you." I totally forgot that I haven't even seen any wood bees in about a month or two. So, we stood still. The bee landed on her back and stayed there which I thought was weird for a wood bee. But, I just shrugged and we kept walking. That bee stuck to her like glue! We got almost to Rhett and the bee left her back but kept buzzing around us. I called him over to see if it was a wood bee or not. Rhett comes over, "It's not a wood bee, it's not a wood bee!!!!!" and started flailing his arms all over the place. Now, BFG had picked some wildflowers earlier that she was carrying around. So, I scream: "Drop the flowers, drop the flowers!!!" as I just about pull her arm out of socket while running as hard as I can in sandals in waist high weeds. Let's put it this way, we got out of the weeds alot faster than we got in and dear Rhett was right behind us. We got away though. Praise the Lord!

Lesson #2: Buying chocolate-iced doughnuts to eat in the car for your child as a treat for being extra good in Wal-mart in 90 degree weather is a bad idea. Even if you are smart enough to have napkins in the car to wrap around the doughnut to keep those precious hands clean. Because you just might not be smart enough to answer no when the child asks you if she can lick the icing off the napkin. This is a bad, bad, bad and very messy idea. And it's not a great idea to stop for gas and roll down the windows while said child is licking the napkin because wasps really, really like sweet stuff. Although, if you are looking for a way to get rid of the extremely messy napkin quick, the threat of a wasp is highly effective. And it's highly effective to be able to clean the child up with no turning of head or complaining. In fact, it's my new threat: We have to wash your face, brush your teeth, take a bath, etc or that wasp will get you.

Lesson #3: Do not have 16 windows replaced in 90+ degree heat. This is a very unpleasant experience. Also, if the installer tells you about how he knocked a softball sized wasp nest out of your wall while installing, it might be a good idea to check the inside of the house for wasps. Especially check the bathroom . . . before you have run your bathwater and are about to step in and every inch of your skin is at risk. No sting thankfully, just a mild panic attack and no bath that morning.

In case your wondering (well, you could probably tell), I am terrified of getting stung. I have never in my life been stung by a bee or a wasp. And ya'll know how paranoid I am. I just know if I ever get stung I will go into anaphalactic (sp?) shock. And ya'll, you die from that quick and we live so far out, I just don't think the ambulance could get here in time.

Learning lessons every day,
Mama Said

Rhett's Birthday

Well, for all my scrambling yesterday, Rhett's birthday turned out pretty nice except for my ill mood from scrambling all day. But he loves me enough to look over that. BFG wanted to make Rhett a cake and all on her own thought up making a basketball cake because Rhett loves basketball. Here's how it turned out:

Okay, ya' got me. I had to throw this picture in there to show off two of my yard sale finds last weekend. I got the cake topper for $1.00! Isn't it beautiful? Makes our cake look alot spiffier than it actually is. And the lamp . . . oh the lamp! I love it! Hang on to your seats: The lamp only cost $3.00!!!!! And it works!!!! I also got a Barbie castle for $1.00! It was the best yard sale ever! Okay, here's the cake:

Now, our dinner was Rhett's birthday gift from God 'cause, honey, my meals don't look like this. It was so beautiful to me that I took a picture. And I have to say even if I did cook it myself with God looking over my shoulder, it tasted delicious, too! We had Hillbilly Housewife's Oven-Baked Swiss Steak (don't be fooled like I was there is no Swiss cheese involved, go figure!), rosemary green beans, baked potato with butter and sour cream, and Paula Deen's Sour Cream-Butter Biscuits, and fresh garden tomatoes from my bother-in-law. Yum!

All in all: Pretty good birthday dinner except for Rhett spotting one of the groundhogs during dinner and wanting to go shoot it. I said, "Now, Rhett, this is your birthday dinner and BFG has been so excited all day." So, Rhett asked her if she minded if he went out and shot a groundhog. BFG's response, "Well, okay, as long as you don't hurt it's feelings." Result: No feelings hurt--Rhett missed.

Muffin Tin Monday: Rainbow Theme

Sycamore Stirrings gave the challenge of a Rainbow Theme for Muffin Tin Monday today. I love the idea of the theme, but I have to admit that once again I was scrambling. You know, that should really be the name of my blog: Scrambling! I think that's all I do like right now I have somehow lost my carefully planned out menus and I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to fix for dinner tonight. And it's Rhett's birthday and I have no idea if I planned on the menu for something special or not. Not like it's really going to make a difference when I find it 'cause I can't get to my freezer 'cause someone still hasn't put all our stuff back from having the windows put in on Thursday and there's about 3 ft. of stuff piled on my freezer. Whew! Can you tell I'm having a rough day?

Back to the muffin tin, here's what is in it from the top: Yogo bites (blue), Barbie princess cereal (pink), Barbie princess cereal (purple), pickles (green), chocolate animal crackers (brown), banana (yellow), cherries (red), sour cream (white), peaches (orange), BLUEberry bagel, strawberry jelly (red), shredded cheddar cheese (orange). It was pretty fun. BFG got into it trying to think of different colored foods and while eating each color she pointed to things in the house that "matched" in color. You can see I also gave her a spoon in every color to add to the theme and I put a drop of yellow and blue food coloring in her milk for her to mix up and have green milk. I wanted her to fix purple milk, but green won.

For those of you with little ones, a great activity to help teach colors is to let your child sort by color in the muffin tin using Fruit Loops, M&M's, or Skittles. Then, make them tell you the color before they can eat it. Works fabulously.

Off to sort out my day,
Mama Said

Song Tagged!

I've been song tagged by Bella!

Here is the tag:
List 7 songs you are into right now. No matter what genre, whether they have words, or even if they are not any good, but they must be songs you are really into right now, shaping your summer.
Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs.Then tag 7 other people to see what they're listening to.

I tell you what, Bella, you got lucky this summer. Ordinarily all I listen to is talk radio. Well, sometimes I flip it over to contemporary Christian. But this summer I've been going back to my roots and really been digging some country music. Okay, blaring it and singing at the top of my lungs. I've had a few that have really spoke to me this summer. Now, ya'll, I am just terrible with song titles and the artists' names. Bear with me.

1. Every Other Weekend by Kenny Chesney and Reba---the first divorce on my mom's side of the family is occurring and one of my close friends is having some marital problems.

2. I Don't Even Know His Last Name by Carrie Underwood---yeah, it's moral content is horrible, but it gives me a laugh every time I hear it

3. You Should Have Seen It in Color by ???? (if anyone knows, tell me!)---Rhett's grandpa is a WWII vet and this song just speaks to my heart and makes me ache that we are at a point where our time left with our grandparents is very limited and that generation was like the golden generation to me. I have so much respect for them.

4. She's Somebody's Hero (?) by ????? (again, please let me know the artist, you music junkies)---Love it, love it, love it! Makes me think about how BFG looks up to me and I pray that I can be a wife and mother worthy of her wanting to care for me when I am elderly.

5. Indian Outlaw by ????---This song has been running through my head ever since I saw the snake. Like I can't get it out. It's taking on its own personality. I'm getting a little worried. Help!

6. Man of Conviction (?) by Toby Keith---Okay, I am crazy in love with anything by Toby Keith right now. I really liked him before, but me & Rhett watched his movie Broken Bridges a few weeks ago and now I am totally into him! He is just so cool!

7. A Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr.---Okay, there is something elemental about having moved out to the country. There's just something about having land and a gun that speaks to my core. Pioneer spirit maybe? Being an American traditionalist? I don't know. But I do know that when this song came on about a month ago, I literally cut Rhett off mid-sentence and sang it at the top of my lungs and followed the song up with a lecture to BFG about how country people really can survive. Yeah, you can say it . . . I think I'm cool living in the country. Of course, if it came down to it and I really had to survive living off the land, I'm sure I would be an absolute wreck and total dead weight.

Oh, I have no idea who to tag with this. So, I guess I'll just pass on that part. Hope it doesn't mess anything up.

Kickin' up my heels in the country,
Mama Said