Z What?!?!?!?!?

Yes, ladies and gents, this is the shoe my podiatrist is recommending! The Z Coil. And, yes, I actually even went and tried it on. It was pretty comfy . . . if I could get past the fact that I'd look really, really weird and if I wouldn't get that spring hung on stuff. I can't walk through a doorway without getting my clothes hung. Every time I look at these shoes I get horrible visions of getting hung on escalator or something.

Oh, and the price. Yeah, over $200 to look freaky. But you can't put a price on pain relief I tell ya' and if I can't find something else, I will be wearing the robot shoes. They were nice and springy. Put a little bounce in my step. (Hee, hee. Okay, I'll stop.) I just for the life of me cannot figure out why they did not enclose the spring.

Limping along,
Mama Said

Truly My Child

There are so many moments throughout the day where I just stop and stare at BFG and think: "You are so just like me!"

Like today, she woke up and immediately packed a basket of stuffed animals to take with her to Publix. I asked what she wanted for breakfast and her reply was: "I don't want breakfast. I want to get to Publix so we don't miss the 'stamples'."

Yes, when you are like us, food samples take on a high priority.

Mama Said

$55 and A Backseat Attack Later . . .

So, Rocky has these weird red bumps on the top of each toe on his back paws. Even though they've been there for weeks, BFG and I make a mad dash to the vet the other morning to get'em checked out.



Now, Rocky is not the best car dog on the planet. But he was doing pretty good this round until he decided to put his front paws up in the back window and look out that way. Kind like sticking his whole upper half in the back window like he woulda got up there if he coulda.



BFG is strapped in her booster back there with him and she started telling him, "No, Rocky. Get down!" And being the genius I am, I said, "Oh, don't make him get down. He likes it. Isn't it so cute? At least he's not crying."



Okay, by the time we were done, I am sure BFG would have loved to hear him crying instead. Within two minutes of my famous last words, Rocky had scooted all the way over with his top half in the window and his bottom half on top of BFG!!!



Here's the exchange. But keep in mind, we are driving on a very curvy, pot-hole-filled, patched up, narrow, no-shoulder back road.

BFG: Aaaaaaaagh!!!!! GET OFF ME!!!!! Aaaaaagh!!!

Me (thinking): Oh my gosh! What is he doing? He's been neutered, but will he do anything? This is terrible! He is on top of her!

Me (daring to take my eyes off the road for seconds while making feeble attempts to get him down): Rocky, GET DOWN!

BFG: Aaaaaaagh! Aaaaaaaaagh! Don't put your we*nie on me!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGH!

ME: Oh my gosh!!!! What are we going to do?!?!?!?!?!? I can't get him off. I can't get him off!!! There's no where to pull over!!!

BFG(with her face smashed against the window in attempt to avoid him): Get him off me!!!

Me: Aaaaaagh!

(I can't even see her in the rearview mirror at this point because he is that big and on top of her.)

Finally, I made contact with his leash and yanked him like I have never yanked him before. He got down and never got back up there. I don't know what the heck he was doing. I don't think it was what I feared.



After it was over, Me: Oh, ha, ha, ha! Rocky wanted to sit in your lap, didn't he? And he was too big. Ha, ha, ha.



That made BFG feel better. It made me feel better when no body parts looking weird was mentioned or anything. And we got a laugh over it later. I'm sure we were a sight to see on that two-lane road. And it was by the grace of God that we did not see a single car on that road that whole way. Amazing.



Mama Said

Unexcused Absence

I don't know what my problem has been this summer. I have had very little desire to blog.

I think about it.

I've written about oh, maybe a hundred posts in my head.

Just can't seem to make it to the computer.

I'm not even sure why.

But I have a few sneaky suspicions . . .

Please excuse Mama Said from her blog for one or more of the following reasons:

A) She has been too busy chasing after her dog and keeping him out of the trashcan and from chewing up all the toilet paper.

B) She had her very first garden which somehow became quite time consuming. Although, it shouldn't have because she only weeded it about 2 days out of the whole summer. But, boy, did she sure like to look at it!

C) DVR!!! Mama Said has been catching up on a year's worth of TV since June 13 (The Day We Got TV Back). Unfortunately, she is rather addicted to TV and all she has really wanted to do this summer (after looking at her garden) is lay down in bed with a heating pad and watch TV until she pukes. BTW, Mama Said highly applauds whoever the genius is that invented DVR and fully believes she can never live without it again.

D) Facebook . . . she finally jumped on. Enough said.

Don't give up on me, ya'll! I feel a come back a-comin'!
Mama Said

Who Was More Upset?

This was a big surprise for us this summer---Rocky turned out to be a girl! Just Kidding! Hee, hee! But his boy surgery turned out to be a lot bigger ordeal than we thought.

When I made the appointment, the receptionist told me that it was totally non-invasive and he would be over it in two or three days and it cost $100.

So, imagine our surprise when we pick him up to the tune of $197 and instructions to confine him indoors for 10-14 days!!!

Talk about going nuts! I'm not sure who was more upset by all this--him or me? That cone around his neck absolutely drove me insane! He was like a pinball machine walking through the house. That thing was HUGE and he literally could not walk through the house. And he constantly banged into my legs. I spent days screaming, "I cannot take the cone!!! I cannot take the cone!!!"

And Rocky is a big dog and still a puppy. Ya' know what that means? He can get into lots and lots of trouble around the house. He can reach almost anything and one little tip of his nose and he has a free for all in the trash can.

Yup! A very, very long 10 days. Uh . . . we didn't make to 14 days. On day 10, baby, he was let loose. I could take absolutely no more. If there had been any complications, I guess we would have just had to board him at the vet. Let's put it this way, it would have been him or me---one of us would have been locked up! LOL!

Mama Said

How Many People . . .

• stand in their driveway for 30 seconds with their dog on a leash and have the leash slip into a crack around the car headlight and get hung on something inside the car headlight making you and the dog stuck to the car? (Of course, you could obviously let go since the dog is stuck but you stand there screaming for your brother-in-law to help instead.)


• open the door to take their dog potty before bedtime only to have a spider run in the house under the screen door and while you are trying to kill this very crafty spider who has obviously spent its life training on how to get away from you, your dog manages to somehow (through the screen door) grab the live mouse the cat is playing with outside, slips out of the leash, and runs all over the house with a mouse in his mouth while you scream helplessly for Rhett all the while still trying to kill the spider and when Rhett finally comes, BFG is crying her eyeballs out because he won't let her come down with him.

• mow the unused area of their garden like Rhett did and mow over a real live rat that is as big as a cat. Yes, a rat living in our garden and not just any rat. Apparently, it was a bionic rat that can survive being mowed over without a scratch. I am so thankful our garden is almost done because I am terrified of being in it now. And who knew there was even such a thing as wild rats? Not me. Therefore, any thought of ever having a backyard camp out has been squelched. And I must say, I have a new determination and motivation to actually weed the garden next year. Ugh!!!!!

Mama Said

Sleep Problems

You might have sleep problems if . . .

• You fall asleep with a puppet over your muzzle.


• You have had mice this summer (get that, mice--as in plural!) and you had the bad experience of hearing them move around at night. So, you lay in bed all night every night for at least the past 6 weeks listening to see if you hear them, worrying if they've chewed up wires and a fire is going to break out, and terrified that one may get on your 4 yr old DD upstairs because of a horrifying experience you had as a child where a mouse got on your mom's head while she was reading you a story.


• On June 12, you caved and got satellite after 15 months of having only 6 channels and it's your first time with DVR and you record everything you have ever thought about wanting to watch and stay up all night watching TV and no matter what time you turn it off, you still lay awake listening for the above mice.


• After you are pretty darn sure all the mice are dead, you have nightmares about hearing or seeing one and it wakes you out of a dead sleep and keeps you awake for at least an hour.


• You have to go to the bathroom multiple times during the night.


• Your husband snores.


• Your DD gets up about 5 nights a week at 4:00 am to tell you she had a bad dream and comes and gets in bed with you while you are secretly wondering if the mice have been scurrying around in her room and that is what really woke her up.


• Every time you move, you wake up because your whole body hurts because your mattress is too darn old but your old house and the needs of the farm keep sucking up any money that could be used to by one.


• Or you have a night like we did last night where I actually, unbelievably fell asleep very easily around 10:30 only to have someone from second shift call for Rhett at 10:50 to tell of a problem on the line at the factory. After listening to Rhett talk about it til 11:30, he decides to go in and make the change on the computer. So, I am then forced to stay up because I'm convinced something terrible is going to happen to him on the drive there and back. While I'm up watching DVR-ed stuff, BFG wakes up at 12:45 am. I go upstairs to her room this time and drift off. Rhett comes home at 1:20 am. I wake up and come downstairs. BFG wakes back up at 4:00 am and I go back upstairs so that Rhett can get some rest. By 6:00 am, I am just miserable with BFG literally sleeping with her head on top of me. I bring her down stairs for us to sleep. At 6:30, Rhett wakes me up while he's leaving for work. At 6:55, somehow the alarm had been magically set (we rarely use an alarm) and goes off and it happens to be on Rhett's side of the bed. I leap over BFG to grab it, shut it off, and sleep til 8:30 with little feet kicking me. And throughout all of this, I seriously went to the bathroom at least 15 times. I don't even know how I had that much in me and think I may now possibly be dehydrated.

I'm starting to look forward to this polyp surgery because I least I can get some awesome, deep, much needed sleep!

Mama Said