Twiddle-Aged and Beyond

This is what I was shopping for when I realized I just might be crossing over from "twiddle-aged" to "middle-aged." Yeah, I bought the Skecher Shape-Ups. But not cause they are cool or because I am actually gonna get in shape. Oh, no. My motivation for getting them is because my feet hurt so darn bad that I'm praying these will help!

Now, that alone would not convince me I was crossing over. But the whole scenario did. I shopped at Finish Line at the mall. Whoo-hoo, Finish Line! I love them! (And I'm not getting paid to say that. I wish I were!) They are terrific about taking shoes back and that endears them to me and my painful feet!

For whatever dumb reason, I didn't go on the day I planned. The one day of the year I actually looked cute. Oh, no. That couldn't happen. And I really wanted to look cute, too, because my feet are so big. You know, so they could be like, Her feet may be boats, but she sure is cute. But, best laid plans of mice and men and all that.

Not only did I not get to go in my "rock star" sweater (as BFG calls it), I ended up having to go in my sweats because my incision from my surgery got sore and started oozing. And I was coming down with a cold by that point. Ya' know, a whole 18 hours later.

So, my frumpy self is at the shoe store sniffling and needing new boats. I put one on against the salesgirl's advice to try on both at the same time. Duh, me! I was like four inches higher and on a curved surface. So, I had to put on the other one to even stand up. They felt pretty good. And if I'd just said, I'll take them, it would have been okay. I mean everyone goes to mall at least once in their life in sweats, right? But, no. I couldn't just buy them and sort it out later. I have to announce that I am going to try them on a second time with my orthotics in them. So, I whip them out like a senior citizen and go through the whole process again. Good thing I wasn't trying to be sly or anything because I kept dropping the orthotics and causing a clatter.

Then, I left one of the navy shoes on and tried the size bigger in the white on the other foot. And, yes, that's a whole size bigger. You little feet people don't know this but when you have huge feet--they stop making half sizes! Here is what the salesgirl said and I quote, "Oh, wow! The white ones look soooooo much wider on top and sooooooo much bigger!" Um, yeah. Thanks. Guess I won't be going with that pair, now will I?

I finally decide to purchase the navy shoes in the smaller size. I'm really excited and say so (like I'm thirteen or something instead of 31). The salesgirl, "Oh, have you been wanting these for awhile?" Um, no. But instead of just doing the ol' smile and nod, I have to blurt out in my twiddle-aged-almost-middle-aged way, "NO! When you feet hurt this bad, you get excited at any chance of a shoe making them feel better." and went into a discourse about my feet. Can you believe I said that? I acted just like my mom! During this whole experience I was my mom! Aaaaaaaack!

What's the verdict? Am I still twiddlin' or am I crossing into middlin'?
Mama Said